


Sacrifice for a Lamb

by opulent_flame



Category: Twilight (Movies)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Bloodlust, Drama, F/M, Family Feels, Past Abuse, Protectiveness, Romance, Vampire Bites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opulent_flame/pseuds/opulent_flame
Summary: Sordid bursts of swirling grey and black swallowed the sky. Inside the Cullen house, everyone was discussing what to do regarding the most recent problem: James wanted to kill Bella. - Esme and Rosalie have to try and throw the expert tracker in a different direction, but not everything goes according to plan.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Carlisle Cullen/Esme Cullen, Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Emmett Cullen/Rosalie Hale
Comments: 24
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I originally posted this on fanfiction.net about a year ago and decided to post it here. I have made a few grammatical edits, but it’s still the same story. There are seven chapters total, and I'll try and get them up ASAP. Hope you like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

Rosalie's POV

Sordid bursts of swirling grey and black swallowed the sky. Inside the Cullen house, everyone was discussing what to do regarding the most recent problem: James wanted to kill Bella. Her scent was intoxicating and there was no stopping a creature such as that. The lust for blood was hard to control, and he had no reason to attempt to control it. I found the entire thing to be absurd. I knew that getting involved with the likes of a human would only lead to the destruction and devastation of the entire family. I wanted to look at Edward and scream at him for being so careless. The fact that he wouldn't meet my eyes was hint enough that he knew the costly decision he had brought onto the entire family.

Bella never should have been at baseball to begin with. It was a family activity and it's not like she can even play. I don't understand why I seemed to be the only one realizing the severity of the situation for what it was. It certainly didn't help that Alice kept mentioning the weird possibilities of Bella becoming one of us. But, if Bella hadn't come to the game, none of this would even be happening. Why didn't Alice see that? I shook my head, trying to control my frustration. Alice wasn't to blame for this. It was Bella.

"I need to take Bella somewhere else," Edward said.

"He would just track you down," Jasper said, his eyes flickering over to Bella.

"Are we sure he's going to go after her?" Emmett asked, trying to sound positive. "Maybe we're overreacting and they're moving on like their leader said they would."

"No," Edward growled. "I saw his mind. He wants her."

"Laurent confirmed it," Carlisle pointed out. "He said it was a game to this man, and not to underestimate him or the woman, Victoria. It doesn't appear that he has much control over his coven."

"Edward?" Bella said, her eyes wide. "What do we do? What about my Dad?"

"The best course of measure is to try and buy some time, see how serious he is about trying to find her," Jasper reasoned. "Some of us could take Bella's clothes and throw him off track. Rosalie, would you do it?"

Immediately, golden eyes fell onto me

I scowled at them and shook my head quickly. "Are you serious? You really want me to go out there for _her_? Need I remind you all that she is a human? This is exactly why she shouldn't be involved with Edward! No. What is she to me?"

Emmett placed a hand on my shoulder and gave me a pleading look. I refused to meet the pleading eyes of my husband. I wasn't going to budge on it. There was no way I was going to go out there and risk my life for a human that won't even be around. Even after this event goes down and she somehow lives, it's not like she would be insane enough to stick around. No, there was no point in it.

Jasper sensed how set I was in my decision and decided to take a cheap blow. I'm not sure if was sheer desperation, or if everyone was just keen on making shit decisions recently, but he turned to Esme. "Will you do it?"

Esme was standing in the corner to try and avoid the conflict. She stepped forward and nodded. "Yes, of course. Bella can borrow some of my clothes, too."

I looked over at Carlisle. His body became rigid and it certainly didn't go unnoticed by his wife. I let out a sigh. I hated how nice and caring Esme could be. She was willing to sacrifice herself for Bella? A human? What exactly was supposed to happen in this situation Jasper was proposing? If James were to follow Esme, then she would be alone with him. And who could say what would happen then? And what about the woman? She would be outnumbered two to one. She wasn't even a fighter to begin with.

Edward was glancing between Carlisle and I, and I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that our thoughts were going down similar dark paths.

I looked over at Esme. Her caramel locks were disheveled from the wind outside, and her eyes were a vibrant topaz. She smiled at me, reassuring me that my decision was okay. Out of everyone in the entire family, she was the only one who understood my side. She knew that I hated what Bella was potentially giving up. A chance. A chance that we both desired. Everyone thought I was being unfair for my feelings toward Bella, but Esme understood why I had this frustration boiling inside me over the entire thing. The same woman who looked with adoration and hope towards their love was the same who held a compassionate heart for me.

"Fine," I growled out, gaining everyone's attention. "I'll go with Esme." I glanced over at Edward, my eyes narrowing into the most menacing look I could muster. _This isn't for you. This isn't for Bella. If anything happens to Esme, I swear…_

"Yeah, I get it," Edward said darkly.

I stalked away from them, and held my hand out to Esme, who reached out and grabbed it. I pulled her away from the group, not bothering to see if Bella was going to follow us. Esme turned her head slightly and called to tell her where we were going. I led us to her room and let go of her hand to allow her to pick out something for Bella to wear. She opened her drawer and began rummaging around. It dawned on me that a lot of Esme's clothes were older fashioned. She was traditional in her sense of fashion, partly to keep up her part as appearing older, and partly because we came from a very different time period. Luckily, she pulled out a pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt.

It was in moments like this that I really thought about how Esme was only twenty-six. She the oldest in our group, and the most mature by a long shot, but she was still so young. She was goofy when she let her guard down. Honestly, she could be as silly and absurd as Emmett when it came to messing with others. She was that reckless girl that climbed trees and broke her leg. And then, she had everything taken away from her… Now Bella was just waltzing in, willing to throw away all of her future happiness over some guy she just met. It wasn't fair. It was cruel. It was cruel to me, and to Esme. I didn't see how everyone could be so blind to that.

I had a life planned, just like Esme. I wanted so many things. Most of all, I wanted to be a mother. I would give anything for that chance. But, I'm not able to find the joy in the smaller things in life. Emmett brings me so much happiness, and yet there will always be something missing. I'm angry. I'm angry all the time. Even when I'm happy, there is the smallest sliver of me that is still furious for what became of me. I was condemned to a life where I'm denied the thing I want most. How am I supposed to be okay with Bella throwing that away?

"I really don't dress like teenagers do now," Esme laughed, breaking me from my thoughts as she started laying the clothes on the bed. "I mainly just have dresses and skirts," She smoothed out the small crinkles that had formed from sitting the drawer. Her eyes lingered on the clothes for a moment before she brought them up to look at me. She quirked her brow at me. "You don't have to come, Rose. No one will blame you for your decision."

I almost laughed at how naïve she could be.

Bella chose that moment to walk in, her eyes wide and fearful. I wanted to feel pity for her situation. But she brought this upon herself. Esme gestured to the clothes and Bella gulped. She gave me a wary glance before she started to take off her top.

"I'm not sure if I'll fit," Bella said awkwardly, looking at Esme's long legs.

"We'll make it work, dear," Esme reassured her, quickly undressing as well. I saw the slightest hesitation in Esme's movements, and it made me want to giggle. Wearing a human’s clothes was probably unbearable.

I waited for them to change, impatiently shifting my weight back and forth. Once they were done, I turned to make my way down the stairs. The others were still making plans on what each member would do. As I entered the room, Carlisle came up to me and handed me a small sliver cell phone.

"Keep us updated on what's going on," he said, and gave me a soft smile. "Thank you for doing this,"

"Yeah," I said, glaring at him. I slid the cell phone into my pocket and walked over to Emmett.

He smiled at me and let his arms snake around me. "Be safe," he whispered, hugging me tightly.

I pressed my lips to his in a passionate kiss, pushing our bodies closer together. Emmett returned my kiss excitedly, his lips crashing against mine with an intensity that reminded me of violent waves breaking in a sea. His hands were in my hair, his fingers running through it with ease. My fists were clenching at his shirt, wadding the grey up so tight that I thought his shirt might rip off and expose some of his creamy skin. I fought back a moan and suddenly my teeth were nibbling at his bottom lip. I wanted to stay here and continue this, but Edward cleared his throat. Emmett stopped, slowly breaking away from me. His face wore a giant grin and he looked down at me with lust filled eyes.

"Don't do anything stupid," I said, letting go of him. I turned to see if Esme was ready. Carlisle placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and whispered something incoherently into her hear. He slid the cellphone into her pocket and then walked over to join the others.

"Ready?" Esme flitted over to me.

"Yeah, let's just get this over with," I muttered.

"Here are Bella's keys," Edward tossed them towards us.

Esme extended her hand and caught them. "I suppose I should drive?"

I shrugged. I turned away from them and tried to focus on something else as I went to Bella's truck. I opened the door and sat, crossing my arms over my chest. Esme climbed into the driver's side and started the engine. It roared into the quite night, and soon we were speeding down the road.

It was so utterly stupid that we were making such a big sacrifice for a dumb lamb.


	2. Chapter 2

Rosalie's POV

We ditched the truck about a mile back. Our footsteps were loud in the silence of the night. Loud crackles of thunder occasionally rumbled in the distance. I cursed each time, hoping that it wasn't going to start raining while we were out running in the woods. There was a bitter voice in the back at my head laughing at me, knowing that it would certainly be just my luck if it were to downpour. I darted through the woods, weaving in and out of the trees. Esme stopped and started rubbing herself against various trees. I brought my feet to a stop and watched as she tried to spread Bella's scent.

She then started hugging the tree, dragging her arms across the base. I was briefly reminded of the seventies when people were always out venturing the woods. It had been humorous at first, a couple of kids sneaking out to drink, but then too many started wandering too close to where we had been staying. We had to start worrying about being caught while we were hunting. We also had to worry about hunting them. It had been okay for a while, but eventually Emmett had slipped up, killing two people.

It kind of put a damper on the whole vibe.

Esme was a flower child, however. The seventies had been a fun year for fashion, and the two of us went crazy with the it. She had convinced me to go out and watch one of the groups protests. She had embraced the bohemian style fully, while I was a bit more hesitant. I found myself embracing more of the disco lifestyle. I loved the bright and flashy colors. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but watching her hug that tree brought back so many memories that it was making me feel sentimental. It was entirely inappropriate given the time.

"You look ridiculous," I commented, fighting back the urge to take out the phone and take a picture of the sight before me.

Esme gave me an incredulous look before rolling her eyes. "Do you have a better idea?"

"No," I admitted. "But I really hope this doesn't make you go into that whole tree hugging phase again."

I didn't expect her laugh to come out so freely. The melodious sound filled the air with a sweetness that made me have an overwhelming sense of calm.

"Do you remember how shocked the boys were when we came home?" she chuckled, her eyes glazed over slightly as she was clearly reminiscing. "Edward just couldn't believe that I convinced you to go to an environmental protest!"

My eyes darkened slightly as I thought of Edward. Our brief moment of joyous recollection was ripped away at the thought of my brother. I was quickly reminded of our situation. Esme picked up in my sudden change and let the smile fall from her face. She pulled out the little silver cell phone and began furiously typing. She hit send and then slid is securely back in her pocket.

"I hate cellphones," she muttered, mainly to herself.

"You're just old fashioned," I said. "Besides, it's convenient for situations when your dumbass brother falls in love with a human and sends his sister and mother out in the shitty weather to try and throw off the dangerous vampire tracker that is on some crazy blood lust hunt."

Esme held my gaze for a minute. I expected her to reprimand me, but something in her eyes screamed that she was tired. She let out a small sigh, flicking her eyes away from me. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and I expected her to take it out and check, but instead she left it. It was probably just a text telling us to be safe or something stupid that we had already been told.

"Let's keep moving," she said, turning away as she began running again into the night.

I grunted in response and trailed behind her. The two of us continued our run for a while, stopping every now and then for Esme to mark the trees. Our conversation had dwindled into an uncomfortable silence that I wasn't quite sure how to break. I knew that she was tired of hearing me complain about Bella, but I also knew that she was the only one who would even remotely listen to me without shooting me down.

Alice was delusional with the girl. Jasper was indifferent and didn't feel his opinion mattered. He was too concerned about trying not to murder her. Edward was obviously smitten and unable to see things clearly, which was actually odd considering he was usually the logical thinker. Carlisle and I have always had our issues, so it really wasn't surprising that we were unable to have a civil conversation about it. Emmett wanted to give them a chance. He wanted to believe that good could come from it and he really though they could stand a chance.

So, that left Esme. Of course, she wanted Edward's happiness. She was clearly willing to go to great lengths to try and help him achieve it. But she also always wanted happiness for Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Carlisle, and me. It was apparent that this situation had half of the family torn in different directions and Esme was being torn along with it. Jasper was in constant pain trying to control his thirst. Carlisle, though he wouldn't admit it out loud to anyone but her, was worried about their exposure. I was furious about the entire thing. I made my anger quite known and I knew that it was weighing down on her.

"Are you honestly not even the slightest bit mad at Edward?" I found the question slipping out of my mouth as we dashed, increasing my pace so that we were side by side.

Esme did not reply immediately. There was a stillness in the air and for a moment, I thought she was going to ignore me. I thought the awkward silence might continue. That was a foolish thing to consider, as Esme was not one to treat others so cruelly.

"Am I angry with Edward? No, I'm not angry. You cannot choose who you fall in love with, Rose," she said thoughtfully. "Do I wish that Edward had fallen in love with someone who wasn't a human?" she paused, as if she was mustering up the courage to say something unforgivable. "I do."

"You like Bella," I shook my head at her, still not grasping how she could not see things as I did. "How? She is just causing so many problems."

"Edward has been alone for so long, and Bella completes him. I wish Bella wasn't human, but I do still wish for them to be together. I wish for whatever makes Edward happy, for he has been without happiness for a long time."

I frowned at that statement. Edward had been alone for a long time. Carlisle had initially changed me with intentions of changing that, and Edward had already been alone for a long time back then too. Esme was right, he did deserve happiness.

Why did his happiness have to cost the family so much trouble?

I suppose Edward was always one for the dramatic. He was incredibly difficult, why should this be any different?

Esme and I reached the next stopping point and we slowed our running. Esme made her way over the tree and began her ridiculous hugging. I wanted to say something in response to her comment about Edward's happiness, but I was falling short. Edward had once helped me achieve my happiness when it came to Emmett. It didn't require this much effort, but suffice to say, he did help a lot in those terrible newborn years. He also gave my lovable husband some pointers on how to sweep me off my feet.

I went to speak, opening my mouth to say something that wasn't exactly an argument, when words flowed out from a different female voice.

"Well, what do we have here?" a Cheshire like grin was sported across the redhead's face as she came from behind one of the trees.

I felt the venom pooling my mouth instinctively.

This wasn't going to be good.


	3. Chapter 3

Rosalie's POV

"Well, what do we have here?" a Cheshire like grin was sported across the redhead's face as she came from behind one of the trees.

I felt the venom pooling my mouth instinctively. My feet were moving into an offensive position before my mind could even register what I was doing. I watched as the redhead let out a low snarl, her scarlet eyes gleaming with an intense fire. I keep my eyes on her, challenging her to move a single muscle. My ear twitched as I listened to Esme behind me. She stopped hugging the tree and turned to face the threat. She lingered behind me slightly, and she did not get into a fighting stance. Instead, she stood as if the woman before us was just an ordinary person crossing paths.

"You really thought you could trick us?" Victoria let out a shrill snicker. "James knew it wasn't the human. We knew this was just a trap."

My body let out a loud hiss and I fought back the urge to attack her. "If you knew, why are you here?"

"I just _had_ to see who they sent to do this little trickery," she explained, flicking her eyes between the two of us. "I must admit, I did not expect them to send you, _Blondie_."

"Don't call me that!" I snarled, taking a few steps towards her. I felt Esme quickly place a hand on my shoulder. I glared at her and snatched myself away from her.

"See? So aggressive…I figured they would for sure want you to protect the human girl," she reasoned as if it was obvious. Her eyes traveled to Esme again, and instead of flicking back to me, they remained on her. "And you. You were the only one who didn't advance on us when we discovered the scent at the baseball game. You're a shy little thing. Your primal instincts aren't to fight. If it wasn't clear then, it's certainly clear now."

Esme didn't reply. She just stood there, in the same natural stance. She was unaffected by her words physically, and this seemed to intrigue Victoria. Her vibrant red eyes were locked onto Esme's golden orbs, and there was suddenly some kind of exchange between them. I watched in confusion, wondering what in the world could be happening between them. There was a flash of anger in Victoria's eyes and she shook her head. Her aggressive stance remained, but it lessened significantly. She was letting her guard down, and I was reminded of how causal she had seemed at the baseball game. She wasn't naturally violent like James. But she was willing to resort to fighting if that's what it took.

"We don't have to resolve this with violence," Esme spoke calmly.

I looked over at her, taking my eyes of Victoria for a moment. Surely Esme knew that this had to end in violence. There was no other way around this. This was predetermined the moment James decided he wanted Bella. That was the whole reason they sent us here. Sure, we were avoiding the main violence, but some of my family and to at least suspect something would go down here. I'm just glad that it wasn't James and Victoria here. Then we would really be screwed.

Maybe Esme was right, though? James isn't here…There is no real reason we must fight. We could all turn a blind eye and walk away like we never ran into each other.

"Oh, but we do," Victoria admitted. There was something in her voice that I couldn't quite place. Regret? No, that couldn't be possible… What would Victoria feel regret for?

"As long as James doesn't hurt Bella, no harm will come to him," Esme promised her.

Part of me wanted to argue, saying that my husband would gladly rip James limb from limb, just for causing us this inconvenience, but there was a sliver of doubt in me that made me stop. Emmett wasn't barbaric like that. Carlisle opposed violence just as much as his wife. I could imagine them having a similar conversation with James somewhere, trying to talk him off doing something he would regret.

"You speak as if you are there," Victoria replied softly. "You're not violent, but your family does not fight their instincts as greatly as you," she glanced over at me, but her eyes were not filled with hatred and aggression, but something empty and dark. "James will not stop until he has…Bella? Whatever you said the human's name was. I wish I could act as Laurent has, flee the Coven and continue on with my life, but James is my mate. He will harm the human, that is inevitable."

"They won't kill James," Esme said passionately, stepping closer to the woman. I wanted to throw my hand up to stop her, but I didn't want to startle Victoria. She had let her guard down completely, and I didn't want to ruin that by moving too quickly.

"You can see my predicament?" Victoria laughed, her hand covering her mouth as if it was the funniest joke of the century. "James kills Bella, and your Coven kills him. Or, James _tries_ to kill Bella, and your Coven kills him. Or, maybe, on some insane chance that you are right, James is spared and then we just have to continue hunting you down until he gets what he wants. He never stops until he gets what he wants, even if it means the end."

"You don't think he even has a chance, do you?" I said, realizing the tortured look in her eyes. She knew her husband was going to die. She already had a sense of mourning, a hint of vengeance glistening like a lone star in a dark night sky. "You followed us because you were hoping to get some kind of revenge."

Victoria was suddenly back in her aggressive stance again, the smell of her venom hit my nostrils and I found my chest starting to rumble in response.

"I'm disappointed they sent me such easy targets," she commented, licking her lips. She adjusted her shirt, the clever slogan printed across was smudged with dirt and day-old blood. Her lips were a rosy pink and I imagined freckles peppered across her face. She was probably pretty as a human, but she was certainly fragile. It was always intriguing to see the monster unleashed in those who were opposite in their human life.

I prepared for her to make the first move.

Then, the buzzing of a cellphone filled the air. All three of us looked stunned at the sound. The phone from Esme's pocket was vibrating. She kept her eyes on Victoria, not moving to answer it. The three of us stood in silence, waiting for the ringing to die down. They were calling us instead of texting. My curiosity was peeked, and Victoria seemed to notice. The buzzing fell into silence and the three of us stood in an awkward triangle of sorts.

"I know why you came," Esme said, still stepping closer to the woman. "You don't have to hide from us. We can help you. It doesn't have to be this way."

"Esme!" I growled out in warning, not understanding what she was doing. Why was she getting closer?

The buzzing of my cell phone now filled the air. Victoria flicked her eyes to my waist and narrowed them.

"Answer it," she demanded, her voice crashing out like a violent wave.

I glanced over at Esme, expecting her to give me guidance. She just stared at me with wide eyes. The phone continued to buzz until it faded into silence. Victoria let out a high-pitched whine, and I expected her to react negatively to disregarding her request, but then the phone started to ring again.

"Answer it!" Victoria hissed again.

It became apparent that Esme was just as unsure as to what I should do, so I decided to oblige the angry vampire screaming at me.

"Hello?" I said, breathing out a shaky breath that I hadn't realized I was holding in.

"Rosalie!" The voice of Carlisle came through on the phone. He sounded out of breath himself. "What is going on? We have tried calling you and Esme several times."

I glanced at the two women in front of me, wondering what I should say.

"We're just marking the trees like you asked us to," I said. "It's simply so exciting that we didn't hear the phones."

There was hesitation on the other line, and I knew right away that he could sense something was off. I tried my best to keep the bitter edge in my voice, but he had known me for too long. As much as I hated Carlisle at times, he was obtusely observant. I suppose that is what happens when you've been alive for centuries.

"What's going on?" he asked, the panic making me cringe. I considered how to reply, knowing that the situation was under control at the moment. We certainly didn't need Emmett of Carlisle leaving their parts if we wanted to keep Bella safe.

"It's really-" I started to say when the smallest of movements caught my eye.

I watched as Victoria edged slowly closer to Esme.

"Hey! Stay away from her!" I snapped, startling everyone.

I winced suddenly when I realized that Carlisle and the others certainly had to hear what I just shouted out like a frightened child. Yeah, so the situation _was_ in control.

I faintly heard Carlisle scramble out something in-comprehensively stressed. I also heard Emmett scream out my name from the background. But I was completely unable to respond to them as I watched the redheaded vampire snatch Esme by the hair and pull her to her knees.

Esme looked completely startled and let out a small gasp. Victoria pulled on her, bringing her to a position so that she could easily rip into her with her sharp pearly fangs. I watched helplessly, clutching onto the small silver phone. A growl erupted my chest while one was emitted from the phone.

"Ask them if James is still alive," Victoria demanded, taking a long and slow smell. "I guess the girl does smell appetizing," she gestured to the clothes Esme was wearing.

Although I knew that everyone could hear each other with our heightened senses, I put the phone on speaker.

"Carlisle," I said, sounding surprisingly calm. "It's Victoria. Here with us. Esme and I are fine, just answer her question."

Again, there was a slight hesitation on the phone. It seemed unbearably long, and I wondered what could possibly be taking them so long to reply. I had no idea what was happening on the other line. Was James there already? Did the two of them have to leave to go and help the others? Were they already rushing here? Why weren't they replying.

Victoria pulled onto Esme's hair again, causing her to let out a small whimper.

"Stop!" she cried, thrashing against her. Her plea sent a shiver down my spine.

Instantly, Carlisle replied. "We don't know where James is," he told them. Even a human would have heard the hitch in his breath as he spoke to us. I could hear how tense he was. Imagine how rigid his body was. I could imagine Emmett pacing behind him, gritting his teeth as he planned to make his way to us.

Victoria seemed to relax at this news, but her grip didn't grow any weaker. "He's still alive, then," she said. She sounded hopeful at this prospect. "I have to find him. Maybe I can try to talk him out of it again."

"You can't," I told her, surprised to hear it come from my lips. "Men like him don't stop until they get what they want. You said it yourself."

Suddenly, it clicked for me what Esme had understood earlier. Victoria was like me and Esme. She was a victim, bound to a man who was selfish. He didn't care about her the way he did his own needs. He would condemn his mate to an eternity without him for just one human. Esme and I were fortunate enough to have endured it during our human lives. Now, we had men who would sooner hurt themselves than see us in any kind of pain. They were selfish for us. James might not have physically hurt her, but he was like them in other ways.

Victoria snarled at me, snatching on Esme again. I looked down at her and saw that her gold eyes were clouded over and found myself wincing. Her face was empty, void of emotion, and I knew she was checked out. I had seen that look on her only one other time. She had gone to town with Emmett, the two of them wanting to buy fireworks for the New Year. It was just the five of us and Edward and I were being our usual selves. He was brooding in melancholy and I was irritated about something. I wasn't sure what happened exactly, but some man flicked his cigarette ash on her. The hot ash had landed on her dress and singed it.

It sent Esme into a state. Emmett came home distraught, carrying her in his arms, not knowing what to do. He was stumbling over his words, practically sobbing with not being able to help. We tried to call Carlisle, but the hospital had been busy, and he didn't answer. Edward told us that it happened before when she was a newborn. She was triggered into some episode from her past.

Victoria had snatched her hair. The sensation must have reminded her of her husband. That wretched man that Edward hunted down so many years ago. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that he had slung Esme around in a similar manner.

I felt vile piling up inside me.

Quickly, I shut the phone closed and dropped it to the ground. I knew that they would be furious with me for ending the conversation in a time like this, but honestly, they would probably thank me for it later. They didn't want to here what was going to come next.

"Let go of her," I growled out.

Victoria looked at me and shook her head. She looked as if she was going to try and make some clever remark, but I was tired of waiting.

I sprung at her. My claws were out, and my fangs were glistening with venom. Victoria threw Esme by her hair and prepared for my impact. I hit her, with an earth-shattering crack, and the two of us started to tumble on the ground. I was glad that our collision could be written off as the storm to any nearby humans There were loud hisses and snarls. I heard the tearing of fabric and I wasn't sure if it belonged to me or Victoria.

We were a tangle of limbs and the violent thoughts that coursed through my mind were monstrous. We struggled with our dominance, and then I was on top of her. I had her pinned to the ground and she thrashed violently beneath me.

She escaped my grasp and began to rip at my hair. I dodged her long nails, rolling off her as if were hot coals scorching my skin. She took advantage this climbed on top of me. She let out a sad laugh, cocking her head at me slightly. I looked up at her and began the kick my legs. This movement threw her off, and her sudden instability was exactly what I needed.

I rolled us over one more time, securing my place on top of her. The back of mind wondered why Esme wasn't helping me, but I pushed the thought aside. I knew that she near. I focused my attention to the redhead beneath me.

She cried out against me, digging her nails into me at any free skin she could try and grab. Her fangs were bared out, and on instinct, the animal inside me persuaded me to bite her. My venom pierced into her skin and she let out a strangled cry. My fangs sank deep into her skin. The adrenaline of the action pulsed through my body and for the briefest of moments, I imagined the sensation of thick, warm blood pooling into my mouth.

I pulled back, stunned by my own action. Did I really just bite her? Did I really just fantasize about her being a human? Blood rushing through her veins and her heart beating in a tantalizing way. I could smell the human on her. That must have been it. Right? Lost in my thoughts, I was abruptly thrown off her. She stood up quickly, moving away from me like a dog that had just been scolded by its owner. She grabbed her shoulder in pain, looking between the two of us.

I pushed myself off the ground, my clothes torn and my skin feeling raw from her scratches. My eyes were glaring a roaring fire that would take more than what she had to put out. She was a raging ocean of emotion, but it still wouldn't be enough to stop me. Something in her must have known this. Her eyes wandered to Esme. My mother sat on the ground, staring blankly at her wrist. Victoria let out a pained snarl before turned her back to us and running away into the woods.

I considered chasing after her.

It wasn't worth it.

Even if I caught her, what would I do? I didn't want to kill her. No…Once she discovered that James was dead, she would most likely end her own life. She was gone. We would probably never hear from her again.

Besides, I was clearly not thinking straight. Biting an enemy wasn't weird, but imagining blood? I don't even feel thirsty. I had gone hunting last night with Emmett. What made me desire her to be a human? Why was I suddenly craving human blood so much more than usual?

I let out a sigh and turned to look at Esme.

Her eyes were focusing so intently on wrist. I walked over to her, approaching her slowly. I bent down next to her, hoping not to startle her. The way she stared at it, I expected there be some type of mark. I shouldn't have been surprised to see that nothing was there. At least, nothing that I could see. There was no telling what she could have been seeing, if she was truly reliving a human experience.

Drops of rain started falling from the sky. Big, fat drops plastering onto our skin. It was starting slow, but I knew it was only a matter of time before it began pouring.

"Esme," I said softly, reaching out to touch her.

She was startled, flinching away from my touch. She looked up at me nervously, backing away. She didn't speak, but I saw the flash of recognition fill her expression.

"Are you okay?" I asked, briefly aware that the phone was still adamantly buzzing.

She glanced back at her wrist and for a moment, she reminded me of a ghost. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She shook her head, her hand tracing her hairline in a soft gesture. I wondered what she was checking for. The thought of her hairline dripping with blood flooded my mind and I winced.

"Don't apologize," I told her seriously. "It's over now,"

She looked up at me with a guilty expression.

"I would have had the same reaction," I said. "There are moments when I'm reminded of Royce. The feeling of his breath on my neck…" I shuddered at the memory. "We just have different reactions. I get angry, and I lash out at those who care about me."

"I thought…I thought we could help her," Esme admitted, clearly trying to shake her mind off the moment she had just relived. "She isn't evil, but this will change her. Losing her mate will break her."

"I know," I smiled sympathetically at her. "Some people can't be saved." I looked over to the phone, growing increasingly anxious to answer it. I was worried about how everything was going for them. If James hadn't been there, surely, he was there now. How did they have time to keep calling them?

I stood up and walked over to the phone that lay on the ground. I picked it up, opening the phone to answer it. Before I could say anything, Carlisle's voice came bursting through.

" _Is everything okay?"_ he choked out. He almost sounded angry, the irritation with me at hanging up was very clear. It wasn't often I was able to break his composure, even when I tried my hardest. Yet, I found no satisfaction in it this time.

"We're going back to the house," I half answered his question. That certainly didn't go unnoticed. I knew his hand was probably clenched uncomfortably on his knee. It was what he always did when he was stressed. "How are things there?"

"As expected, for the most part. We can talk about it all when we get back. Bella was bit, but she is…fine," he sounded rushed, and I could hear some faint arguing in the background. Jasper's sarcastic voice was the loudest. "What happened with Victoria?"

"She ran away," I said simply, not wishing to elaborate on the entire event. I knew the entire family would want to hear what happened and I wasn't a fan of repeating myself.

Especially if I had to admit something violent, like biting another vampire. I was embarrassed enough as it was to think about how I had fantasized her being a human. I couldn't admit that to Carlisle. It would concern him even more. Maybe it had been the smell of Bella that had aroused me into those thoughts, which was somehow even more horrifying.

"And Esme?" he asked, sounding uncertain.

I sent a wary glance over to her. She was looking at her wrist again and she looked as if she was on the verge of tears. She didn't seem to be listening to my conversation and I wondered if she could even hear me. She looked as if she was back in another world.

"She's safe," I said, swallowing slowly. "She isn't hurt."

"Thank God," he breathed out. "I was so worried about the both of you."

"Carlisle," I started, the graveness of my own voice catching me off guard. "I really think you should hurry back, though."

An uncomfortable silence fell onto us.

"How bad?" he whispered softly.

"Bad," I said bluntly, not sure of how to rephrase it anyway.

Carlisle let out a disgruntled noise that made me wince. "And you?"

"I'm…fine," the thought of blood dripping down my throat flashed to my mind. The way my fangs sank into her flesh. My free hand flung to my throat, grasping at it as if that could somehow lessen the burn.

"Emmett and I will be there soon," Carlisle promised, the rustling of something filled the air. I assumed they were running back to us, knowing it would be much quicker than taking a plane. "Get back to the house."

I quickly said goodbye to him, not caring that he could sense something was up with me. I turned my attention to Esme. She was standing now, but her hand was clutching her wrist like she was in intense pain. She was looking more coherent, which as at least a start.

The rain was starting to increase, our damp clothes threatening to become dripping wet.

"Let's head back home?" I asked her.

She nodded at me weakly.

As we ran through the woods, my thoughts flitted to Bella. We did all of this for her. I hope she knew how serious this family was for her. I literally had to bite another vampire for her. A single flash of concern flashed through my mind for her. Carlisle said she was bit. As much as I despised her, I hoped she wasn't in pain.

A flash of her soft neck exposing her creamy flesh flashed in my mind.

I suppressed a whine, shaking my head quickly. I wasn't going to torture myself over this. I was protecting myself and Esme. I had nothing to feel guilty over.

There were enough people suffering tonight.


	4. Chapter 4

Rosalie's POV

My clothes were dripping wet and cold against my body. The rain was beating down erratically, like how a toddler bangs on drums with uncontrollable fists. My marble skin was already cold and lifeless, but the freezing drops of water that clung and made my clothes stick to me made we want shiver. My teeth wanted to chatter, but I gritted them down in irritation.

As we ran through the woods, retracing our steps from earlier, it dawned on me how long this day truly felt. Several hours ago, I had been at high school. I was trudging through the halls of that lame ass school, walking proudly as I felt the eyes of my classmates roaming all over me. The thought reminded me that I had homework due tomorrow, which was rather unfortunate. I really wasn't in the mood to do calculus after tonight.

We approached the car and I took it upon myself to drive. I knew that Esme wasn't in any state to try and operate a vehicle. She made her way to the driver side, accepting my decision without any complaint. Once we climbed in, she handed me the keys. I started the engine and hesitated to let the engine warm up. I was planning on driving much faster than this car was used to.

The events from the night replayed in my mind as I began driving towards the house. I shuddered as I considered Esme coming alone. I wondered the outcome would have been different. I considered what would have happened if I had come alone. What If I had said yes originally? Dozens of different possibilities scattered around in my mind. I was overwhelmed with the what ifs and swallowed harshly. The taste of my venom made me want to wretch it out. There was no reason to dwell on what could've happened. What happened is what matters and I needed to try and deal with that now.

I lost control of myself tonight.

Out of the corner or my eyes, Esme brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. Her chin rested on knees and she looked out the window, watching as the water smacked against the glass. Single droplets raced each other down the glass and I wondered if she was secretly rooting for one of them to win. She usually did silly things like that.

I took a breath, trying to force myself to relax, and instead felt myself tense. Immediately, I flung my hand forward, turning the air off. It wasn't even blowing that hard, but the potent smell of Bella's clothes was wafting towards me. Her clothes, wet from the rain, were somehow more tantalizing than they had ever been before.

My throat clenched, and I felt the familiar fire building up. My mind was reeling and suddenly only one desire was present. It was like a child throwing a temper tantrum, screaming and crying to try and get that one thing it needs more in the world. There was an easy way to make the kid stop kicking and making a scene, and that solution was to drink the lovely blood that was singing to me from the scent of Bella.

"Esme," I said, holding my breath. "I can't take the smell,"

Esme flicked her eyes up at me with confusion. I trailed my gaze to her clothes, and she looked down, her expression shocked.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked, looking worried that I was uncomfortable. Her face was twisted with many emotions, a swirl of fear and that spark of maternal instinct that I had loved from the instant I met her. She picked at the wet clothes, pulling them off her skin a bit. The sight made my throat clench with want.

_Bite her._

_Sink your teeth into her skin and feast upon the warmth that is rushing inside of her._

"Get them out of the car, _please,"_ I screamed out in agony, my voice breaking at the end. I tried to hold my breath, gripping the steering wheel too tight.

_No. No. Don't bite her. She isn't a human. It's just the smell, you idiot._

Esme bit her lip before she began to strip the clothes from her body. She pulled off the shirt first, folding it as neatly as possible given how wet it was. Then she unbuttoned and unzipped the pants. She gathered the clothes and rolled down the window, leaning back out into the rain. She tossed the clothes into the bed of the truck and lowered herself back into the seat. Her hair was soaked, dripping down running rivers of water across her bare body.

She wore a black laced bra that pushed up her chest, making her curvy figure look even more voluptuous. The bra was certainly something she could wear to get her way if she was trying to persuade someone. It was suggestive, and I briefly wondered if she had been planning on seducing Carlisle after baseball. While thinking about my parents in that way wasn't the most pleasant, I knew she was a hopeless romantic and seeing Edward in love had sparked her in such a positive way.

Her underwear was a lilac shade that reminded me of a sunset I had seen many years ago. It had been in the early days of our time in Tennessee. It was a few nights before I found Emmett. I climbed to the roof and watched it, hoping for something more to come. The underwear looked to be a silk like material, and had the situation been different, I would have asked her where she got them from.

If I thought my mother had looked vulnerable earlier, her sitting soaking wet in just her undergarments was certainly icing on the cake.

I considered giving her my shirt, but the tears in it wouldn't have made a difference. My midriff was showing, and you could see the bottom part of my red bra. She would have been exposing herself no matter what.

I started driving the car, speeding with a rapid intention of getting away from everything that had happened.

The smell of Bella was still strong, but it became a little bit more bearable without her clothes. Something was wrong with me. Was I really going to sink my teeth into Esme just because of the smell of a human? I mean, I did pretend that Victoria had human blood, so maybe…. No. I would never do that to Esme. I would never mistake a vampire for a human, that was utterly ridiculous. I was just flustered still from earlier and not thinking straight.

Esme crossed her arms insecurely across her body and gave me a curious look. It suddenly occurred to me that this could have been triggering to her given her recent state, but she didn't seem any worse. She just seemed the same; distant, with her thoughts fleeting in dangerous directions. I flinched as I thought of her human husband snatching her by her the hair. He probably forced her to take off her clothes, pulling her in whatever sick way he wanted. I had probably forced her to relive a humiliating memory because I couldn't control myself around a human scent.

I was pathetic.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly, unable to make eye contact with her.

"Rosalie." She said my name in the softest way possible, like how a flower would feel with little drops of dew. "Are you okay?"

"I…" I trailed off, shutting my eyes for a moment. "I bit Victoria."

Esme's eyes widened at this news, but she didn't seem upset by it. "You did what you had to do. I know I wasn't any help and-"

"I bit her, and I wanted it to be a human. The thought of having her blood rushing into my mouth was so clear. It felt so real. All I could see in that moment was a flash of red. I bit her! I've never bit another vampire, and then I imagined it was a human…And now I just keep picturing Bella's neck, bare and exposed before me. Her blood gushing through a thick vein that is just inviting me to suck her dry. Her smell is overwhelming me and that voice inside of me, that animalistic one that we try so hard to ignore, it wanted me to bite you. Oh, my God, Esme! I'm a monster! How could I even think if biting you? I'm so sorry!"

I was hysterical, sobbing tears that could never fall. My body was shaking rapidly, and noises were coming out me that were so completely unintelligible and yet oh so uncontrollable.

"What if I can't control myself next time? I don’t make mistakes like this. Oh, God! Where is this sudden desire for human blood even coming from? It's always there, but right now I want it more than I want anything. I feel like the desire is stronger. Seeing her red eyes, knowing she can have what we deprive ourselves of. Knowing that we are going to have to be spending a lot of time with Bella. Esme, I fantasized about killing Edward's girlfriend!"

I felt like a newborn again. My emotions were all over the place. I had been so angry earlier and now I was so devastated with myself. What was wrong with me? Was I not meant to deal with everything in the same way as everyone else? Jasper wasn't having a breakdown, and I knew he was thinking about murdering Bella and half of our high school every day he showed up to class. Emmett admitted to me just the other day that he was nervous, but it had been just an offhand comment. Not some massive hysteric fit. Why was no one else having a break down like me? It was really just so unfair that this was happening.

"We all feel the blood lust for humans. It's part of who we are. You desiring Bella is not shameful," Esme said, trying her best to sound firm for my own sake.

"I desire Bella in more than one way," I said, hating myself as I heard the words. "I desire her mortality. I desire how she can have everything I've ever wanted. She's risking all of that for Edward, and it makes me so mad. No one else understands, Esme. Alice doesn't want children. Jasper doesn't. Emmett might, but he would never bring it up with me. The same with Carlisle. They think that I'm just this awful _bitch_ who hates Bella. I don't hate her! Sure, she isn't the brightest girl or the most personable, but I don't hate her. I hate that she is giving up everything that matters! And now I just want to drink all of her blood…"

I pulled the car off into the long edge of our driveway and put it in park. We were close enough to the house that the boys would catch our scent, and I was not in any shape to continue the drive. My body was shaking, and I was taking bug gulps of breath. The rain outside was starting to let up finally, but my cries were only just beginning to enter the wrath of its own storm.

"I'm stuck in this body! This awful eighteen-year-old body! And I'll never have children because I'm stuck! All I can have are these terrible thoughts about ripping into the throats of humans. I bit Victoria. I wanted to bite you. I want to bite Bella. Am I insane? Surely, something must be wrong with me?"

Esme had remained silent after I spilled out my heart, and I had been too coward to look and see her reaction. I heard her take a deep breath and tried to stifle my sorrow as she began to speak.

"She grabbed my hair," she was speaking in a whisper, as if it somehow would make what she was saying less painful. "Her hands were so rough and I thought they were _his_. I was paralyzed. Frozen. I always thought that if someone treated me that way again, I would spring to defend myself, because now I can protect myself. I'm supposed to be indestructible. But I locked up. I couldn't fight back, and I was Esme Evenson again. I was in that house…"

She trailed off and I looked over to her, trying to urge her to continue. It seemed she was avoiding my eyes now.

"Everything was blurry, how most of our human memories are. I don't know what I was doing. Maybe cooking dinner? Or cleaning a table? Whatever it was, he wasn't happy. In a flash, he had snatched me by the hair and I fell to the ground. The smell of alcohol was so clear, I can feel the hairs on my neck stand up as he breathed on my neck. I tried to fight back. I scratched him. I don't know how hard, but I know I scratched him, and then he grabbed my wrist," her left hand fluttered its fingers over her right wrist. "He broke it. I think…I think he stepped on it? With those big brown shoes that he used to wear. I can remember the sound of the bone snapping, like my limb was just a tree branch."

I swallowed, looking at her small wrist. My hand went to touch my own, considering what that might be like. Royce had been good to me until that final night. I hadn't suffered years of physical toil. I knew one tragic night and that was enough to make me jaded and resentful of so many things. He had taken my future from me in one night, but he hadn't broken down my will to fight. In fact, he had ignited it.

"I'm supposed to be indestructible," she repeated. "What good is being indestructible when your mind is broken?"

I wanted to respond. So desperately, I wanted to say something back. I wanted to tell her that her mind wasn't broken. I wanted her to know that there were days when I couldn't even stand the thought of Emmett touching me because a man's hands were the most repulsive thing in the world. I wanted her to know that I understood what it was like to be so disgusted with yourself for being a victim in this vampire body. I wanted to say so many things, but all I could muster was a pathetic whimper.

"I couldn't even bring myself out of it when I knew you were in danger. I was so scared to move because what if he broke my other wrist? What if he made do things…" she shivered, biting down on lip so hard I thought it might bleed if she was human. "As if he was still alive. I kept screaming at myself, 'He is dead! Edward killed him. Even if he was alive, you're a vampire!'. And I just sat there, stuck in a daze, while you were in danger! What kind of mother am I? What mother just sits there and watches their child in danger?"

The two of us finally looked at each other and let out broken sobs together.

Neither of us could offer any comfort for the other and I knew that neither of us were upset with each other. We were apologizing to each other, when really it was ourselves we needed forgiveness from. I could've bit Esme. I could've ripped her throat out and she would forgiven me not a second later. But, that wasn't the point. The point was the disgust I felt of myself, the mountain of guilt that I had to try to climb. I knew the same was for Esme.

In an instant, I could smell Emmett and Carlisle's scent. The rain had all but stopped. It was a dull drizzle that spattered the windshield with a thin layer of mist. Esme and I were still crying pitiful noises. My makeup was running down my face and her caramel hair was a muddy color that fell limply around her face. I felt like our sobs got louder as the boys approached us, but maybe I was just consciously becoming aware of how loud we were crying.

This day had mentally broken us. We had sacrificed a great deal, and I knew I wasn't the only one who was uncertain of the cost.

The broken look on my husband's and father's face was enough to tell me that the cost might have been at too high of a price.


	5. Chapter 5

Carlisle's POV

_Still marking the trees. Rose reminded me of a funny memory. Remember that environmental protest? Anyways, how are things there? I hope everyone is okay._

That was the last message she sent me.

I smiled down at the text message as I quickly read it. The flash of a memory from several decades ago appeared in my mind. How simple things had seemed back then. The five of us living in a somewhat dysfunctional harmony. I was truly happy for my son, but it was in this moment that I wished I could go back in time just to revel in the peacefulness that surrounded us.

I stared at the reply I had sent my wife.

_Don't worry about us. Stay safe. Keep us updated._

She never replied to that. At first, it hadn't been strange. I knew they were doing their own thing, and I didn't expect them to keep me updated after every little thing. But when everything went down here, it dawned on me that we still hadn't heard anything from them. I knew something wasn't quite right.

How long had it been since we heard from them? Ten minutes? An hour? A year? It felt like eternity. I wasn't exactly sure how to wrap my mind around the thought. What was happening? Why weren't they replying?

I could feel Emmett staring at me expectantly, anxiously awaiting an update. The two of us were a bundle of nerves, and fortunately he didn't need to give off the same calmness that I did. I had to maintain my composure for my family's sake, especially Edward. I couldn't let my worry show, no matter how desperately it was trying to break through.

"Why aren't they answering?" Emmett asked me, pacing back and forth behind me. I had called Esme and Rosalie each and neither had answered.

"I don't know," I answered him honestly.

"It could be possible that Laurent betrayed our trust and he and Victoria are after Esme and Rosalie," Jasper suggested from a distance. He was tossing in any leftover bits of vampire into a fire.

Emmett glared over at him. "Seriously, dude? Why the hell would you say something like that?"

I picked at the collar of my shirt as I imagined my son's words to be true. It was possible that Laurent lied to us, but something told me that this wasn't the case. Centuries of being around people had taught me to be a good judge of character. Laurent was being honest with us. Besides, I couldn't allow myself to think Jasper to be true. I ripped any image of that from my mind and gave a reassuring glance to Emmett.

I dialed Rosalie's number for the second time and waited a little impatiently. I was walking on thin ice and I was afraid that if she didn't answer I would break through the cracks and drown in the freezing waters. My feet were moving slowly, trying to carefully maneuver myself to safety. But I would never make it without hearing their voices to guide me.

"Hello?" Rosalie picked up, breathing out a shaky breath.

"Rosalie!" I said a little too loudly, exhaling with momentary relief. "What is going on? We have tried calling you and Esme several times."

"We're just marking the trees like you asked us to," she said. "It's simply so exciting that we didn't hear the phones."

Emmett stopped his pacing and came up closer behind me. His eyes were dark, and he exchanged a quick glance with me. Something was wrong. Rosalie's sarcasm fell flat and a flash of silence fell between us. I was unsure of how to approach this situation. I had yet to hear anyone other than Rosalie. Was Esme even there? Who else was there?

I needed to know just exactly we were dealing with.

"What's going on?" I asked, the panic in my voice evident. I wish I could have kept it hidden, but the day had worn me down. I was on a short tether, especially when members of my family were still in danger.

"It's really-" Rosalie started to say when there was the sound of a sudden movement from her side of the phone. "Hey! Stay away from her!" she snapped, startling me.

The grip I had on the phone tightened.

"Tell me what's happening!" I scrambled out, thoughts of my wife in danger flew into my mind.

"Rose!" Emmett shouted out, afraid for his own wife and his mother.

There was no response from my daughter. I'm not sure if she was even listening to us anymore. There was the sound of more movement. Then, a sound that I wish had never happened filled the air. Esme let out a gasp of pain

A growl erupted from my chest and I heard a more feminine one emitted from Rosalie. The beast within me was usually kept down, but when someone hurt Esme, there was little to try and control. Whoever hurt her would have to answer to me…

"Ask them if James is still alive," Victoria demanded, her voice coming in clear. I was shocked to hear her, knowing that I had just watched her mate be dismembered. If she knew what we did to James, there was no telling what she would do to Esme. She took a long and slow smell that was audible to us, and a shiver ran down my spine. "I guess the girl does smell appetizing,"

"Carlisle," Rosalie said, sounding surprisingly calm. She sounded how I did in situations when someone had to be strong. Subconsciously, she must have known that I was in no state to handle this situation without some type of figure to keep me calm. "It's Victoria here with us. Esme and I are fine, just answer her question."

Answer her question…

How could I answer her question? I could not lie to this girl. I could not tell her that her mate was alive when he was not. I also could not tell her the truth. If she knew the truth, what would stop her from unleashing her wrath of my family. No, I could not tell her the truth. She would be a possible problem in the future, but not right now. She couldn't be a problem right now, not when only two of us were there to try and stop her. A heartbroken vampire is possibly one of the strongest there is.

What should I tell Victoria? A half-truth? Was that even moral? If the position was switched, what would I want to know? _Good God, Carlisle, this is not the time to be having a debate on moral values!_ I needed to think of something to say, but how could I say something to this girl without giving everything away?

Suddenly, a whimper came through the phone.

My entire world starting crashing right before my eyes. I briefly wondered if this is what hell was like. Perhaps it wasn't the suffering of oneself, but being forced to listen to the one you love most in pain without being able to do anything. For surely there was nothing more cruel than that.

"Stop!" Esme cried, and I could hear her thrashing against her.

Instantly, my mouth was moving in some desperate attempt. "We don't know where James is," I told them. The hitch in my breath gave away all the tension that was building inside me. I told her what I could. I had no idea where James was, for what truly happens to vampires after death is forever a mystery.

"He's still alive, then," she said. She sounded hopeful at this prospect. "I have to find him. Maybe I can try to talk him out of it again."

I felt a pang of guilt. She thought James was still alive. She still had hope. How could I give her false hope?

"You can't," Rosalie told her. "Men like him don't stop until they get what they want. You said it yourself."

They had a conversation earlier? Just exactly how long had they been with Victoria? I desperately needed more information. I had a feeling of what had happened. Victoria must have followed their scent and perhaps wanted revenge. I shook my head at the thought. No, if she wanted revenge, she would've killed them already. She must have been after something else.

Rosalie's words replayed in my mind. Men like him… Men like him? Men like Royce. Men like _Charles._ Anytime that man's name appeared in my thoughts, venom rose in my throat. Emmett glanced at me, smelling the sweet yet toxic fluid.

Victoria snarled, and I heard Esme let out another whimper.

"Esme!" I cried out, not knowing what to do. I had never felt so helpless in all of my time.

Suddenly, the clicking of the phone sounded in my ear and I knew that we had officially lost contact with them. I let out a hiss and immediately dialed her number again.

"Carlisle?!" Emmett asked frantically, furrowing his brow.

"She hung up," I said, praying silently that she would answer. I was met with an automated answering machine. "And they're not answering."

"Shit," Emmett cursed out. "Shit, shit, shit!"

I gritted my teeth in frustration and continued to try and call the girls.

"What the hell?" Emmett was clearly losing all his composure. "Why did we think this was a good idea? This was a terrible idea!"

"Emmet, you and I both know this was the best plan we had on such short notice," I commented, trying to reassure us both.

It was the best plan, right? It was the most logical plan just a few hours ago, but now I couldn't think of a single reason why I had ever agreed to sending my wife and daughter out into the woods when we were dealing with a sadistic tracker and his faithful mate.

"Rose didn't even want to go, and we basically forced her! Carlisle, what if she dies? I'll never be able to live with myself. I have no life without her. I know that sounds pathetic, but she is everything to me. How could I have been so stupid to sacrifice her for _this_?"

"She isn't going to die. Rosalie and Esme are going to be just fine, okay?" I said firmly, wondering where I was gathering this strength from. They had to be fine. My mind wouldn't allow me to think anything else. Just as Emmett said, without my mate, I would be nothing. I could not imagine a life without Esme. She was half of me. I had spent so long of my life without her and my world was empty. She filled my life with color and meaning. I could not continue my days without her. "Rosalie is one of the best fighters in our family."

Emmett let out a sigh. "Yeah, yeah they're okay. They have to be okay."

My mind replayed the sound of Esme gasping out in pain. The sound of her voice as she screamed out that lone word that would haunt me for decades to come. _Stop!_ Esme was hurt. Even if it was in a minuscule way and she had no physical evidence, for a moment, she experienced pain. That alone was enough to activate a side of me that rarely showed its face.

I was angry.

I was so unbelievably angry at so many things.

I was mad at Edward, as selfish as it may have been. I wanted him to have love, but at what cost? I was furious with James. Although he was dead, he was part of the reason all of this was happening. I was angry with Alice for not seeing the small Coven of three crashing our baseball game. I was angry with Emmett for suggesting it in the first place. I was mad at Rosalie for treating everyone so poorly these few days, even if her own anger was justifiable.

Yes, I was feeling a rage that only flashed its ugly monstrosity on the rarest of occasions and it was seething in every conceivable way. I had no idea how I could control it, but I knew that I must try not to take it out on my family. For even if I was mad at them, I knew that the emotion itself could bring nothing good.

"Do you think Esme…" Emmett trailed off. "Do you think she can hold her own against Victoria?"

"Esme does not see the evil in people," I said. "Because of that, her guard is often down, and it is precisely that reason that I worry about her." I found myself admitting it out loud. "Luckily, she's not alone. Rosalie is smart, and she trusts her instincts. Perhaps it's a good thing she hung up."

Emmett nodded, looking ill at ease with everything.

"Do you remember my first days after being turned?" he asked. "Rosalie had warmed up to me immediately of course, she was my angel after all. But the three of you were a little different. I was intimidated by you. You had this regal air about you and it just made me nervous. I wanted to impress you and I thought if I didn't, you wouldn't let me be with Rose, so I walked on eggshells around you. You were friendly, obviously, but there was still this mysteriousness about you that I couldn't pinpoint"

I gave him a look, marveling at the idea that I could be intimidating to someone so big. It seemed so strange to me that my son once felt this way. However, it dawned on me that the mysteriousness of me still lingered with many people I was close with, so it wasn't that big of a surprise to hear him admit this.

"Edward was the same. He made me nervous, but in a different way. He was stand offish, and the fact that he could read my mind made me feel unbelievably scared that he would hear me think things that were entirely private. He didn't speak to me for the first two days and I had no idea why. He would speak to you all about me, but never directly to me, and it made me feel unwelcomed. Of course, now I know it's just because Eddy boy is just a little moody about things."

I nodded, recalling how angry Edward had been with the entire situation at first, but I decided not to comment. My mouth was filled with my own venom anyways.

"And then there was Esme. She hadn't said anything, and I'm pretty sure it's because you and Edward didn't want her near me because you didn't trust me yet. But,I came back from my first hunt and you showed me to my room. There were clothes on my bed and I knew they had to be from her. She reminded me so much of my mother. I remember I ran out of my room over to her, so fast and unaware of my own strength and I pulled her into this massive bear hug. I know it must have hurt her a bit, but she hugged me back just as fiercely."

I wanted to smile at the memory my son decided to share with me, but all I could do in response was blink. His recollection was just reminding me of how small and sweet my wife was.

I tried to conjure up a response to say to my son. Nothing seemed to come to mind. I wasn't quite sure why he decided to share this with me at this moment. Perhaps it was just some attempt to take our minds off the present and try to focus on the past. The idea was appealing, but I could not allow myself to indulge. Focusing on the past would not solve any of my issues now. A small part of me was perplexed that Emmett was able to think of such a happy moment in this time of peril. I wondered if he was thinking of this moment because he thought he might never see his mother again…

The silence that fell after his comment was short lived, but it felt as if it stretched on for miles and miles. The two of us locked eyes and I could vaguely make out the sound of Alice instructing her brothers on what to do. Suddenly, the air was filled with the familiar sound of a ringtone. I quickly answered it, blurting out my words.

" _Is everything okay?"_ I choked out.

"We're going back to the house," she half answered my question. That certainly didn't go unnoticed by me or Emmett. "How are things there?"

"As expected, for the most part. We can talk about it all when we get back. Bella was bit, but she is…fine," I rushed out, the voices of my children arguing in the background suddenly made their way to my ears. I did my best to zone them out. "What happened with Victoria?"

"She ran away," Rosalie said simply. It was so blunt and emotionless.

That's it? She just ran away? Emmett and I exchanged a questioning glance.

"And Esme?" I asked, sounding uncertain. My daughter wasn't offering much information and it wasn't doing anything to ease me.

"She's safe," she said, swallowing slowly. "She isn't hurt."

"Thank God," I breathed out. "I was so worried about the both of you."

"Carlisle," she started, the graveness of her voice catching me off guard. "I really think you should hurry back, though."

Something caught in my throat and emitted a noise. Esme wasn't hurt, but something was wrong. She had whimpered in pain, she had cried out…I knew what Rosalie's words meant and I suddenly felt cold.

An uncomfortable silence fell onto us.

"How bad?" I whispered softly. I recalled the few times that Esme had been triggered by something and winced.

"Bad," she said.

I let out another disgruntled noise "And you?"

"I'm…fine," she said.

Emmett shook his head and his eyes darkened. He didn't look convinced. He motioned towards the door, indicating that we should run. I glanced back at Jasper, Alice, Edward and Bella, and decided that they could handle the rest.

I needed to go.

"Emmett and I will be there soon," I promised. Emmett ran out of the room and I followed him. "Get back to the house."

"Okay," Rosalie whispered. "See you soon."

The phone clicked off and I started running faster than my legs had ever carried me.

It was a long run back to Forks.


	6. Chapter 6

Carlisle's POV

The sound of heart-wrenching cries filled the air as we neared our house.

Emmett let out a distressed whine and looked over at me with wide eyes. Our clothes were wet, having ran miles and miles in the rain. I could hear my teeth gritting as I listened to Rosalie and Esme cry. It became apparent to me that the two of them were still sitting in Bella's truck.

We neared them, and I didn't hesitate to fling open the door.

Esme sat in the passenger seat, her knees up to her chest. I felt a gasp escape my lips as I took in her half naked form. She was wearing only a black lace bra and light purple underwear. I glanced back and saw Bella's clothes in the bed of the truck. What was going on? She hadn't even turned her head to acknowledge my presence.

"Esme," I said, reaching out to touch her carefully. My finger rested softly on her shoulder and I watched as my wife winced away from my touch. Her eyes were wild as she glanced up at me with large pupils. Recognition flashed, and I noticed how she was tightly gripping her wrist. Was she hurt? Rosalie told me that she wasn't hurt…

"Carlisle?" she asked slowly.

"Yes, love," I told her. "I'm here. Emmett and I are here." I glanced over at my son who was pulling his wife out of her seat. I saw the tears in her shirt and grimaced. I wanted to help my daughter, but I knew that Emmett had it under control. He knew Rosalie better than anyone, just as I knew Esme better than anyone.

"Can you…" she trailed off and closed her eyes, wincing at something that must have been playing in her mind. "Can we please go inside?"

"Of course," I stuttered out quickly. I removed my jacket, wishing that it wasn't still wet, and offered it to her to put on. Although it was just the four of us, I didn't like the idea of my wife seeming so exposed and vulnerable. She looked at me, her eyes flittering to her wrist before she took my jacket and put it on. She slid her arms through it and zipped it up. It went down to just above her knees.

I bent over and gracefully scooped her up into my arms and darted towards our room. I swung open the door and shut it, locking it out of habit. I took Esme to our bed and carefully set her down on our thick comforter. I quickly began undressing her, unzipping the jacket.

"Let's get out of these wet clothes, alright?" I said.

She nodded at me. "I can do it."

I stepped back, holding my hands up. "I'll get you something fresh to put on."

Esme shrugged off the jacket and watched me expectantly. I wished I could get just the smallest of glimpses of her mind. I knew that she would share everything on her mind with me in time, but my curiosity and desperate need to solve everything was weighing heavily down on me. Esme was always open with those she cared about. She shared emotions. If she was happy, the entire house was filled with unexplainable joy. Her happiness was contagious and there wasn't a person in our household that could escape it. Unfortunately, the same went for her sadness. If she was sad, the melancholy danced with all of us individually.

Her ability to share her thoughts and feelings so fluidly was so exquisitely beautiful. Perhaps it was only with me that she was truly so open with in every aspect, but I felt like one didn't even need Jasper's power to know how my wife felt about a situation. Expressing emotions was something I was quite terrible at. I was much more reserved and hated to share things with others. I suppose that is part of the reason that Emmett found me so mysterious all those years ago. It was so different with Esme.

There were few things that Esme was troubled with that she kept intimate. Those two things were from her human life. It was no secret in the household that she mourned for the loss of her baby, but she had only ever conversed with me in depth about him. It was something that brought her great sorrow, and she didn't like to upset the others. It was probably one of the things she kept most private about herself. She would share with all of them his death and how small he had been, but she only rarely spoke to me of the more descriptive details. Some nights, we would lay beneath the stars and imagine the future her baby boy could've had.

The other thing that Esme kept quiet about was her human husband. Again, it was no great secret. We all knew that he was an evil man, but she was only open about the more descriptive horrors with a few of us. I knew that Edward knew everything, but I also know that she never told him anything out loud. It was all memories that he watched. I can still remember his face the first day after she was changed into our way of life. There was a darkness to him I had never seen before.

She was open with me. Esme had told me things about Charles, although I know she spared a lot of the more gruesome details. It troubled me to hear of the things she went through, and that makes her a bit more hesitant with me. She can tell me anything, and I know that the same goes for me.

However, Rosalie has probably gotten the most description. The third week that Rosalie had been changed, she was still so angry with all of us. She was violent and difficult. She felt that we didn't understand her. I can still hear Esme sitting down in her room and telling her stories of Charles that I had never heard before. Just hearing those things made me leave the house and go hunt, Edward not too far behind.

I shook my head, knowing that something bad was haunting the small woman behind me. I opened her drawer and looked for something that would be comfortable.

"Do you think we could shower?" she asked me in a soft voice.

"Yes, that would do us both good," I turned around to face her. I offered her my hand and held it out. For a moment, I thought she might not grab it. Fortunately, my skin was blessed to be touched by her soft hand. The second I pulled her from the bed, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me tightly. She let out a shaky sigh as I wrapped my arms around her in a protective way. I kissed her forehead, my lips lingering on her skin.

"Talk to me," I requested, my words coming out as a whisper.

"I will," she promised and pulled away from me, her hand going back to hold onto her wrist.

I did my best to keep my expression stoic as I led her into our bathroom. I reached into the shower and turned on the hot water. I heard the clasp of Esme's bra being undone and the sound of the fabric hitting the floor. I slipped off my shirt and unzipped my jeans. I held open the glass shower door and motioned for her to get in first. She accepted my invitation, stepping into the water.

She looked at me as I stepped in and I knew that it was almost time for her to tell me everything. I merely stood there, letting the beads of hot water hit my skin. I heard Rosalie and Emmett outside. It sounded as though Rosalie had moved out of her sad stage and had entered her trademark anger. She was screaming out her frustrations, and although it hurt me to know that she was in pain, I knew that this was her pathway to recovery.

"Are you okay?" Esme's question made me stir in shock.

"Don't do that," I shook my head at her. "Please don't worry about anything right now."

I should have known better than to try and tell my compassionate Esme to stop caring about others, especially me.

"You had to kill James, didn't you?"

"Not specifically me," I clarified, clearing my throat. "He is dead, though."

She frowned and stepped closer to me so that our bodies were touching. Naturally, I turned so that I was facing her and I rested my hands on her hips. I expected her to ask me who killed him, but instead came an apology.

"I'm sorry. I know that his death must be weighing on your conscious," she said.

I almost told her that I didn't care about James' life. I hadn't given it a second thought since I knew she was in trouble. However, we both knew that wasn't true. I might not have been focusing on it right now, but I would surely be feeling immense guilt and remorse for helping take a life, even if that life was trying to hurt my family. It wasn't the first life I watched be taken, as my time with the Volturi proved to be very trying, but it was the first time that I willingly gave the order to my sons.

"Victoria…" she started and furrowed her brow, unsure of where to begin. "I thought I could help her. Carlisle, I really did, and I know that you guys think I'm naïve or overly optimistic, but I saw something that reminded me of myself and I thought I could help her. She was so lost…"

The thought of Esme seeing any part of herself in Victoria was an unsettling thought. I listened intently to her words and considered how to respond. Instead of forming a reply, I found that Esme had decided to keep telling me about everything.

"She didn't hurt me. I mean, she grabbed me by my hair, and that wasn't pleasant, but she didn't hurt me. I don't think she would've actually hurt me." she explained. "She isn't that way. Not naturally, at least. I'm afraid that once she discovers the truth about James, she will return and then she will truly be seeking vengeance."

On reflex, I began kissing her hairline. With each kiss, I would heal any amount of pain that had once been there. She was right, of course. Victoria would be back. Even the sweetest vampires would turn cold upon discovering the demise of their mate. She might seek to destroy herself, or she might seek to destroy those who killed James.

"I'm so thankful that you and Rosalie weren't hurt," I admitted to her, glancing at her unmarked wrist that seemed to be troubling her. I realized my words were only partially true. They weren't hurt physically, but clearly they were both struggling with their own demons due to the night's encounter.

Esme looked up at me and I almost cried out in my own pain when I saw the agony in her eyes. She was drowning in an ocean of sorrow and I wanted to drink away all of the suffering.

"Do you think I'm a bad mother?" she asked me.

" _What?"_ I tightened my grip on her hips. "Esme, why would you say something like that? You're the best mother of our children. The only mother I would ever choose in any lifetime."

"I think," she said, looking at me with a sadness that I had not seen since her early days as a newborn. "I think that I must be."

"What happened?" I begged her, moving my left hand from her hip to caress her cheek.

"I had a moment," she said, sounding deflated with herself. "Where I was paralyzed. I just sat there, Carlisle. Rosalie had to fight her all alone. Something could've happened to her. Something did happen to her! She is so shaken up from tonight and I can't help but feel responsible. Maybe if I had helped, she wouldn't be so upset with herself."

"You must know that Rosalie does not blame you for anything," I whispered. "You're the one person she can never be angry with. Out of everyone, she can understand."

Esme let out a whimper.

She lifted her hands to carefully hold one of mine. She took my hand in hers and cradled it as if it was something precious. She ran her fingers over it and then linked them with mine.

"I know that he is dead," she said. "Still, my mind told me that he was there. She grabbed me and I remembered all the times that it happened to me before."

My mouth was in a tight line. I knew the sadness in my own eyes was unavoidable, and that it was impossible for me to mask torture I felt when she revealed anything to me. Yet, I did what I could to hide any discomfort I felt. I wanted to know everything. I didn't want to scare her into not sharing it with me. She would take on all her own pain if it meant I wouldn't have to share any of it.

"He broke my wrist." she said. "I don't know why that is the memory that came through. He surely grabbed my hair on many other occasions." She said thoughtfully, and I could see that she was reliving the moment once again "I don't know what I did wrong. He broke it, and there was so much pain."

"No one will ever touch that way again," I told her. "I promise. I won't let it happen."

Esme sighed. "You can't promise that. You won't always be there."

I winced at her words. I wasn't there when Charles hurt her. I wasn't there today. I could not blame her for thinking me unworthy of protecting her. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I had led my family into dangerous territory today, and there was no telling what could happen in future. There were nomadic vampire covens. There was the treaty with the Quileutes. There was the Volturi.

I was unfit to protect them.

I couldn't protect my own wife.

Did they all blame me? Would they still look to me as their leader? As their father?

"Carlisle," she said. "Stop thinking like that. I didn't mean that you failed me today. None of this was your fault. I just- I don't know what will happen. We couldn't predict today. We can't predict what will come. Especially with Bella in the mix."

I grimaced. I knew what she meant, and I was irritated with myself for becoming so paranoid by her statement. I was an overthinker by nature. Edward constantly complained about how negative my thoughts could become about myself. After decades of living alone, a lot of self-doubt creeped in and has remained even after all this time.

Everything in my core wanted to protect Esme from anything and everything. I knew it was irrational, but I wanted her to know that I would never let her feel pain again. I wasn't going to leave her side again. If Victoria came back, I would be there. If Bella becomes one of us, I will protect her from the wolves. If the Volturi ever come, they will have to kill me first.

"Esme," I repeated, my voice stern. "No one will _ever_ touch you like that again."

She looked up at me, the hot water dripping down her skin, and nodded slowly. She understood how serious I was. She knew that I was willing to sacrifice every piece of who I was if it meant saving her.

She pulled me closer towards her and captured my lips in a kiss. I closed my eyes and felt my body relax at her touch. The moment she pulled away, I pressed my lips back on hers. She let out a breath and her hands tightened on me.

"What can I do to help you?" I asked her.

She got on her toes and brought her lips close to mine. "Just be you. Take care of me, protect me, love me."

As I held her, I vowed to myself to do all of those things, and so much more. Esme was everything to me, and this night had been hard on her and my daughter. I knew the following days would be hard for her, as the memory would be hard to forget. It would replay for her, and at random times when we would least expect it. But I would do whatever it took to help her.

"I love you," I told her.

"I love you, too." She said. She trailed her eyes to her wrist again and shook her head. "I think you should check on Rosalie. She should talk to you."

"Esme…" I said hesitantly. I didn't want to leave Esme alone in this state, and I knew that I was probably one of the last people Rosalie wanted to talk to. She never confided in me.

"Please. I'll talk to Emmett. I'm sure he can make me laugh."

I considered her words and eventually gave in. I couldn't tell her no. It was my biggest weakness. There wasn't much, if anything, that I denied her.

If Rosalie needed to talk, I would always be there for her. She was my first daughter and although our relationship is strained, we are similar in many ways.

Also, if anyone could make Esme laugh in a time like this, it really was Emmett.

"Alright, love." I said. "I will go talk with Rosalie."


	7. Chapter 7

Carlisle's POV

After we stepped out of the shower, I dried myself and swiftly changed into dry clothes. Esme eyed one of my shirts and I could tell that she was debating putting it on. I knew that she tried to look decent in front of the children, but perhaps tonight she would indulge in comfort over looking proper. I quickly grabbed the shirt and handed it to her, the thought of her safe in my clothing was reassuring. She took it from me and gave me a tiny smile in return. I hoped the scent from my shirt would bring her the same comfort hers brought me.

"I'll be back soon," I promised her, kissing her on the forehead.

She sat down on our bed, pulling my shirt over her head. I gave her one last look over just to make sure that it would really be okay to leave her. Her eyes were still bright gold, but the lostness that was present earlier seemed to be receding slightly. If anything, I knew she wasn't reliving the memory repeatedly. I believe she was finally processing everything. I sighed, mentally scolding myself to go and check on my daughter. Hovering over Esme wasn't helping anything right now.

I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me. I always closed doors. It was a habit of mine that I would never break. Open doors never felt secure, and right now I wanted everyone to feel secure. I didn't like the thought of leaving Esme so vulnerable in our room with an open door, even though the concept of anything happening was ludicrous. I made my way down the hallway and ventured to approach my children. I heard their voices die down into silence as I approached them.

Emmett looked at me, the frustration on his face evident. He was clenching his fists and shook his head at me. He looked past me and softened his eyes, hearing Esme moving around in the room. Rosalie had her arms crossed over her chest and glared at me as I entered.

"What do you want?" Rosalie hissed. I noticed her clothes were still torn and she was still damp. The two of them had clearly not made much progress.

"Is Esme alright?" Emmett asked, ignoring the comment his wife made.

"Actually, Esme would like to speak with you," I informed him, watching his face light up with pride. Emmett and Esme had an interesting relationship that was perhaps one of the strongest in the family, outside of each individual and their mate.

"Mama bear needs me," he beamed. "Well, I won't keep her waiting…" he glanced over at his wife, waiting for her objection. She turned her face away from him and paced over to the chair across the room.

Emmett sighed, taking her reaction as an indignant acceptance and walked over to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and an unspoken agreement passed between us. We would do what we could to help. Esme needed the warmth and humor Emmett had, and Rosalie needed my practical reasoning. Emmett gave me a gentle squeeze and then passed by.

Rosalie and I stared at each other in silence as we listened to Emmett's footsteps head towards the room. We heard him knock softly and turn the handle on the door.

"She sent you to speak with me?" Rosalie guessed, her voice sounding bitter. "You'd think she would know better by now."

"Rose, I just want to help you," I assured her. "I know that what happened was unexpected and-"

"Unexpected?" she screamed. "Unexpected?! You mean none of you expected the nomad vampires to attack those preventing them from feeding?"

I winced at her words. I certainly wasn't anticipating a civil conversation with her, but her passionate anger never ceased to shock me. Edward had screamed at me, his words often wounded me, but in time he had matured. He still had his moments, but we had come to a place where he wasn't outright screaming at me. Emmett would just take his anger out on objects, breaking anything available to him. He rarely raised his voice. Even when Esme was mad, rare at it may be, she never screamed at me. No, when Esme was mad, somehow it was so much worse. Her eyes would narrow, and she would barely speak to you at all.

I quickly pushed down the unpleasant thoughts of the few times I had seen my wife upset and focused on my daughter. We learned that Rosalie was a screamer the minute she opened her eyes. She screamed when she mad and upset. At first, I assumed she was just a more volatile newborn than Edward, but her fierceness never withered. Even now, she kept yelling at me, not allowing me to defend myself. Didn't she know that I felt awful about tonight? If there had been any other way, I gladly would have done it. If I could have gone in their place… Did she really think I was okay with the sacrifices that had been made tonight? Surely she knew that my existence was depended on Esme's…

"I'm every bit as good as you, don't you know that?" she hissed low, not caring to hear any excuses I might have made. None of them would have changed anything in her mind anyways. "My record is just as good as yours!"

"Your self-control is admirable," I commented. Is this what she wanted? To be praised? I wasn't exactly sure what she wanted from me. Why did Esme think I needed to speak with her? Rosalie and I have never connected on anything. All we've ever done is disagree from the very beginning.

"Oh, don't patronize me!" she cried out, standing up. She flung the chair backwards, smashing it into pieces. So, it appeared she was picking up pointers from her husband.

"I'm not patronizing you," I told her. "You've always had remarkable resistance for human blood."

"But not as good as the great Dr. Cullen?" she laughed, her eyes meeting mine. "You can cut the shitty pious act. You think you're so much better than the rest of us!"

I fought the urge to sigh. This was an argument we have had several times. Rosalie often felt that I saw myself as above the rest.

"Rosalie, you know that isn't true," I argued.

"You're better than Edward. He left you and Esme all that time ago to become a murderer. He killed how many people? I don't even think he can count how many lives he stole, how many humans he drank from. You're far better than Emmett. He's slipped up more than any of us, except Jasper and Alice. I think Jasper has killed more humans than all of us combined. Alice won't even tell us how many she has killed. I've only ever known her to have that one slip, so I know for certain she is less than you. But, Emmett, he killed those two hunters in the woods, he killed that woman who came to our house with the church flyers, he killed that small _child_! And Esme, oh poor, sweet Esme. How can she be worthy of your Godliness? She killed-"

" _Enough!"_ my voice was loud and powering, cutting her off. She looked at me with something akin to shock. "I understand that you're upset, but you will _not_ presume to say how I view the members of our family. You can scream at me, but you will not belittle the mistakes of everyone else. That is something I will not tolerate, no matter how much pain you are in. As I have told you in the past, we're all equal in my eyes. There is no pedestal, and if there were one, and if I were to put someone on that pedestal, it certainly wouldn't be myself."

Rosalie shook her head, refusing to listen to me. "I killed Royce and all the others who raped me. I killed them, yes, but somehow you still think you're better! You've tasted human blood four times. I know that you almost lost control with Esme. She has more than one scar on her neck. Every day, I look at her neck and remind myself that even someone like you lost control once."

I was losing my patience with her. It was not often that I lost my patience, but tonight had taken its toll on me. I thought that I might lose several people in my family tonight. I thought I might lose my wife. My wife, who was in a bad place and that I should be comforting! Instead, I was here trying to help Rosalie, and she just seemed to want to throw out accusations at me without trying to get to the root of the problem.

"Yes, I drank the blood of you, Edward, Emmett, and Esme," I agreed. "I'm not perfect. Esme's blood was…Yes, I drank from her twice." I thought back to that night when I found her. Her blood was indescribable. So sweet, so irresistible. Rosalie didn't get to know that. It didn't matter. I wasn't going to discuss this with her. It was a conversation for only Esme and me. What mattered was that she knew I did not think of myself as above her. "I don't know what happened tonight," I told her, hoping she would sense that I wasn't sure what she wanted me to say. "Did Victoria say something about our lifestyle that has upset you?"

"No!" she cried out. "Why? Do you think that I'm so weak that I would give up this lifestyle because of what happened?"

"I didn't say that," I finally sighed. "Rosalie, please, I would never question your loyalty. I'm simply trying to figure out what has you so upset."

"Everything!" she shouted out. "She had Esme and I didn't know what else to do! None of you were there. You sent us out in the woods wearing human clothes! My God, how could you all be so careless?! She had Esme by the hair, and I attacked her. I attacked Victoria because she had my mother and none of you were there!"

I grimaced, trying to imagine the scene Rosalie was describing. "I could give you a thousand apologies for what happened, but we both know they won't soothe the pain. Edward needed us and we all wanted to help. We didn't have much time and there weren't any other options."

"I bit her," she said, her faced filled with shame. She clearly didn't care for my explanations.

"That's a natural instinct," I assured her. "Our venom causes significant pain. Although you've never been trained to bite, your instincts react."

"No, it's not that," she whispered, her anger still present. "I bit her and I wanted her to be a human."

I blinked. I processed her words, understanding finally why she was so distraught. Rosalie was determined. She was prideful. She was precise and controlled, and tonight had made her doubt herself. Suddenly, it dawned on me why Esme wanted me to speak with her. I was determined. I was prideful. When I made a mistake, I wallowed in self-deprecation, for I expected the best out of myself.

"Victoria wasn't human," I said. "I know that your fantasy has troubled you, but know that you have not made a mistake."

"You don't understand! I bit her and I imagined it was Bella," the hurt in her voice made me ache with desperation to help her. "I've never been temped by her before. She smells just like the rest of them. I've smelled humans ten times more tantalizing than her. Still, I couldn't even control myself after that first bite. I forced Esme to take off Bella's clothes because I was so scared that I would bite her." She closed her eyes. "Why is this happening?"

I took a tentative step towards her. "What happened tonight doesn't change anything."

Her eyes shot open and she immediately recoiled. "It changes everything!" Her blonde hair was starting to dry and it looked wild, untamed like the passion in her gaze.

"No, it doesn't. You're the same as you were. You have not slipped. Temptation was dancing in your mind due to undesired circumstance, however, your resistance…your control was the same force as always."

"I've never felt…" she trailed off. I watched her gulp and look at me with an unsteady gaze. "I've never felt more like a vampire. I'm a monster, and tonight the monster bared it's fangs and nonexistent blood sang it's siren song."

I winced as if her words were somehow able to physically sting. "Rosalie," I said her name softly. "You are a vampire. That is something you cannot escape and I'm terribly sorry for that. However, you're not a monster. It is your choices that define you and you choose to do the right thing. You chose to protect Esme tonight. You could've just protected yourself, but you risked your own life for her, and I cannot even begin to express my gratitude. You chose to help Edward and Bella, even though you disagree with it. You choose to abstain from human blood every day. You choose to let humans live. You make all of these choices because you are _not_ a monster."

She sighed and shook her head. "You're right. I know you're right. It's the same thing I've told Emmett after he slipped, and yet is somehow seems so inadequate. We aren't monsters because we deny that part of ourselves. I just don't know how to accept what happened. I'm not used to feeling so out of control. It's like someone else took over and I wasn't me anymore."

"And that is okay," I said. "No one is perfect. I'm not perfect. I could list you the mistakes I've made. Regardless, what happened tonight doesn't change anything. Tomorrow is another day and you're still the same. Emmett still loves you. Esme still loves you. I still love you."

"Yeah," she said, giving me a half smile. "I love you guys, too."

I smiled at her confession.

"I'm still mad at you, though," she said. "I don't like seeing Esme upset. And I'm still unhappy with many things, including myself."

"I know," I said. "And I will fully accept your anger. It is deserved from the both of you."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Esme won't be mad at you. Or Edward. She never gets mad. So, I guess I'll just be mad for the both of us. You made a poor executive decision and Edward is just continuously making poor life choices with Bella."

"You should be delicate with Edward, as I'm sure he will be apologetic once he discovers what happened. He is already shaken up from what happened with Bella." I told her firmly, thinking about the events that happened that Esme and Rosalie missed.

"I don't hate her, you know," she admitted quietly.

"Edward knows that," I told her. "He also understands why you feel the way you do. He has his own reservations. But, he's going to need us to be there for him after what happened tonight. I fear he's having some conflicting thoughts."

She gave me an inquisitive glance.

I contemplated telling her when suddenly the silence was filled with the booming laughter of Emmett and soft giggles of Esme. Rosalie and I looked at each other and beamed knowingly.

"Perhaps we can discuss this once Edward has returned?" I wondered, already taking a few steps backwards to my bedroom. "He will surely want everyone's opinion, and I shouldn't be presumptuous of his emotions."

"Yes, it can wait. Let's join them," She nodded, following closely behind me.

I felt my smile stretched as I heard Esme say something completely silly and Emmett laughing in response. It appeared that my son was helping her come out of her dark place. I couldn't help but imagine her nose crinkling as her laugher escaped her lips.

I glanced over at Rosalie and saw that the anger that was radiating about her had subsided. At the sound of her mother relaxing, she seemed to be relaxing more as well. I was both surprised and pleased that I had managed to help her calm down some and realize her worth was the same. I felt a fatherly pride that she often refused to let me have.

It had only been a short time since everything spiraled out of control, and yet it seemed to have aged me immensely. The stress for Edward, Bella, Rosalie, and my dearest Esme, was quite overwhelming. I wasn't quite sure how we managed to come to this so quickly, but tonight we had all made a big risk for Isabella Swan. Like it or not, she was a part of our family now.

I couldn't help but shake the tortured look in Edward's eyes after what happened. I knew what he was thinking, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. Not now. Not when I knew the hardships it would bring on every single member of our family. Now, I would go into my bedroom and laugh with my wife and two children at whatever absurd things they wanted.

We survived this night, and we would survive whatever chaos was likely to come with the sacrifices made for a lamb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with getting the whole story up. Anyways, hope you enjoyed it!


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